Oops. So I just published Part 5 and then realized I forgot to talk about my last THREE movies. I knew something felt off.
I went over one of Cage’s most boring movies just before this one in part 5, and that’s still what I said it was. However, this is one of those fake-out movies where Cage is basically in it for a whole 10 minutes scattered throughout in 30 to 60 second moments, he’s not fucking in it really, he’s a cameo. And what do you get whenever his 30 seconds aren’t happening? Literally women talking at a table in a big park-sized yard about nothing anyone cares about. I am completely serious. This is a movie about a bunch of women gossiping and mundanely talking about nothing while sitting around – the only thing of note beyond that is that the cinematography is nearly as bad as the writing, directing, and godawful lifeless acting because whoever was behind those cameras obsesses over depth of field so literally everything not directly in the middle of the shot is blurry as FUCK. The fact this movie was ever made is what is truly inconceivable.
Kamen Rider Zo (1993)
This is barely a movie given the runtime is about 45 minutes, but it’s actually pretty good. There isn’t much dialogue, the story is weird and there is, for some reason, a random insert song with a montage of nature and then it just cuts off out of nowhere to continue the movie, and various shit like that – but it’s very enjoyable as a little action movie aimed at kids. The story is simple enough that it manages to be fine for the runtime, the effects are good even when campy, and yeah it’s pretty good.
Pretty cool movie that can basically serve as the final season of the Seraph of the End anime since it won’t ever get another sequel. Vampires are the new normal society, humankind is going extinct, vampires (lead by Sam Neill) need to figure out a way to make more humans so they don’t all starve to death and can keep farming them, and meanwhile Willem Defoe and Ethan Hawke are trying to figure out a way to turn the vampires back into humans and save humanity. It’s stupid and yet it works and is pretty cool, plus has a lot of little details like rear view mirrors not showing characters and daylight auto-driving modes and shit like that. Also like Seraph of the End, and my favorite part of that, this features vampires using modern military technology from attack helicopters to humvees which is just hilarious.
Sorry about that, this really IS the last of my 2020 films though!
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