Sword Arts Online – 2 YEARS OF TORTANIC MADE A GLOPPING SOUND INTO THE ARGUSDRONES

This show is SHIT. It’s so shit I can’t even write properly about it, I really can’t, it’s honestly one of the worst anime I’ve ever fucking seen and it’s only been 7 episodes. Since this is a TERRIBLE FUCKING ANIME ABOUT JUST AS BAD OF AN MMO, ENJOY SOME FUNNY VIDEO GAME PICTURES.

What’s hilarious after watching more is that I’ve noticed the one thing really pulling the entire series down to such awful levels. It’s the main character, Kirito. The show has shit tons of plotholes and terrible writing, and would ALWAYS be an awful show…but he REALLY makes it just unbearably shitty to the point the only way I can handle watching it is watching with a buddy and making jokes the entire time. It’s just so terrible.

And so much of it is JUST because of Kirito. The whole thing is terrible, it is, it’s stupid as fuck, makes no sense, and is overall fucking retarded and one of the worst anime I’ve seen; and I’ve seen a good amount.

But here comes kirito mr.grimdark and edgy, mr.selfinsert garystu. Every single female wants his dick in a way thats worse than a harem – at least in harems there are some side characters or even random classmates in the background who dont care – but no, here every fucking thing with a vagina wants his dick in theirs and EVERY EPISODE IS ABOUT THAT. And worse, the entirety of his personality is “IM SO DARK AND EDGY” I mean he even wears a coat called the fucking Coat of Midnight because it’s the only clothing in the entire game that’s DARK enough for him. He’s one of the worst characters I’ve ever seen in anime, he’s worse than Touma and Accelerator combined and jesus christ I hate those two. He’s really fucking bad. He’s got no personality, not a single good trait or real character, he’s just a fucking emo grimdark kid who

Worse, he meets new girls and has some huge drama and flashbacks and everything ALL IN ONE EPISODE. It’s just laughably fucking bad. He just met this girl, played with her for about an hour, and then she died. She died while 8 other guys died as well, and while she ditched Klein and his pals to possibly die (to PROTECT HIM) as well. And what happens? He goes to his little bedroom that night at the inn or some shit and gets a fucking voice mail from the dead girl he knew for an hour of his life AND OH GOD OH GOD IM SO SAD THE TEARS FLASHBACKS TO HER AND DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE BY HER OH ITS JUST SO HARD TO WATCH IM GONNA CRY. No. It’s shit. How the fuck are you gonna introduce a character and have FLASHBACKS to her when she was in the show and in this guys life like a total of 14 minutes? And worse, how do you expect ANYONE TO CARE? And yet EVERYONE ELSE CAN DIE AND HE DOESN’T CARE. Becaues they didn’t have a PUSSY. And the show just CONTINUALLY DOES THIS they might not DIE but its the same 1 episode he meets a girl HUGE DRAMA LIKE YOU SHOULD CARE the end. It keeps expecting you to GIVE A SHIT babout characters and things you DONT EVEN KNOW cuza they JUST GOT INTRODUCED. im still stuck wondering WHO THE FUCK IS THIS PERSOn an then they go and die and HERE COMES THE DRAMA.

Oh and you want a plothole you can’t tell me I’m wrong about? You want an actual legitimate frodo that proves Kirito is just out to whiteknight and try to fuck girls in an MMO and nothing else?

He tells the loli in episode 4 “you look just like my little sister”. However, you see his little sister in episode 1 for a few seconds running out of the house. She’s got short black hair just like Kirito and dark eyes. This loli has brown mid-length hair put up in twintails and has red eyes. THEY LOOK ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING ALIKE.


No, it gets worse in the aspect of him clearly just trying to get laid in a video game. He REFUSES ANY PARTIES THAT ARE FROM MALES. But EVERY SINGLE GIRL HE MEETS he parties with. Not even invited, he invites them. No way his grimdarkness could handle MEN around, only vaginas are applicable to play with this beast.

AND DONT YOU WORRY, KIRITO IS ALREADY ALMOST MAX LEVEL AND HAS A BILLION HP AND HEALS A BILLION MORE EVERY 10 SECONDS. He is literally the definition of a gary stu. He’s invincible, he’s generic as possible with no personality aside “IM THE BEST AND CANT LOSE” and he’s just jesus christ he’s bad. And so is every other character. To make it worse, the SECOND WORST CHARACTER in the show is Asuna – THE SECOND LEAD CHARACTER. It’s like they were TRYING to make the worst fucking thing imaginable. And oh, of course, she gets partied all the time with Kirito – she’s a girl. Unlike any male ever in the entire show. Half the girls look the fucking same anyway so I’m surprised he can tell they aren’t teh fucking same person.

The pacing is also fucking terrible. Atually EVERYTHIGN is fucking terrible im not even gonna correct all those typos i just made BECAUES I DONT CARE. OH GOD THE EPISODES NEVER FUCKING END.

Klein is the ONLY redeeming point of this show because he just seems like a guy in his 20s who, after the game turns into possibly getting them killed, just has fun with it anyway and treats it like an MMO. He’d be such a better MC. He makes new ACTUAL friends as he goes, he levels up, he gets new equipment, he – oh, i see. HE HAS ACTUAL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. But do we see it? No, just hints of it because we’re busy watching one of the worst characters ever exist in fiction and his pathetically written female party members he makes sure to meet in every episode. The only other thing I can think of is the music – which somehow they managed to make Kajiura’s amazing music sound like SHIT by using it so horribly that it actually RUINS the music. I kinda like BIG BLACK too, I don’t know his real name but it’s what I call him. The dark skinned probably osakan guy who is really tall and strong looking who shows up from time to time, he’s alright but mostly because I like calling him big black.

oh god im legitimately crying while watching this because im laughing so hard jesus christ

This show, in my stream at least, is now officially just playing as one long Linkin Park AMV.

THIS SHOW

IS

SHIT.

4 responses to “Sword Arts Online – 2 YEARS OF TORTANIC MADE A GLOPPING SOUND INTO THE ARGUSDRONES

  1. SWORD ART ONLINE TOLD STATUS:
    [ ] NOT TOLD
    [X] TOLD
    [X] FUCKING TOLD
    [X] FIST OF THE TOLD STAR
    [X] THE CHRONICLES OF TOLDIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE TOLDROBE
    [X] TOLDENEYE 64
    [X] AVATOLD: THE LAST TOLDBENDER
    [X] THE 40 YEAR TOLD VIRGIN
    [X] FRUIT TOLD-UP
    [X] TEXAS TOLD’EM POKER
    [X] BLACKBERRY TOLD
    [X] TOLD NAVY
    [X] STONE TOLD STEVE AUSTIN
    [X] TOLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM
    [X] CASH4TOLD.COM
    [X] TOLDERONE
    [X] PTERODACTOLD
    [X] CURE FOR THE COMMON TOLD
    [X] TOLDTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS
    [X] TOLDPLAY
    [X] TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TOLDLES
    [X] BATTLETOLDS
    [X] TOLDEN TOLDIES

    Like

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